


i set fire to the candles, so they will light up the road (is dark and lonely but i’ll find my way home)

by ffslynch



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 5 + 1, 5 Times, Birthday, Canon Compliant, M/M, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:28:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27590711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ffslynch/pseuds/ffslynch
Summary: 5 birthdays where Kuroo gives, and one in which he gets.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Daishou Suguru/Yamaka Mika, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 151





	i set fire to the candles, so they will light up the road (is dark and lonely but i’ll find my way home)

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be short and fluffy. Turns out I can do neither of those things.  
> Anyway, happy birthday to this motherfucker who lives in my head, rent-free, extended lease, 24/7. I love him more than I should.

When Kuroo is 9 years old, he has his first birthday party in Tokyo. In theory, it’s supposed to be an awfully sad birthday party. It certainly has the potential and all possible factors for it. It’s on a school day, so he can’t really stay up late watching TV. He and his dad have just moved in with his grandparents, to a new city, away from all of his friends, so he won’t have an actual party, not even on the weekend. And, on top of it all, It’s the first birthday party he has without his mum and sister.

When his mother moved away for work, taking Kuroo’s big sister with her, Kuroo had promised them he wouldn’t be sad. He had also promised himself that he wouldn’t cry because he was already 8 years old so obviously he was not a baby and too old to be crying for things like these. He had failed miserably at both promises, not only that day but almost every single night for the next months. Kuroo started sleeping with his head pressed in between pillows, so he could suffocate the sound of his own crying and not worry his dad. He knew it was hard enough for him as well, could see it in his ways every time they sat down to have dinner, his hands reaching for extra plates and eyes lingering on the empty seats.

Almost a year had passed, and things had not got much better. His father smiles never quite reached his eyes, and Kuroo still misses the other half of his family like it was the first night alone without them. Sure, they still called at least once a week and had even called him earlier in the day (although it was very late and still the 16th of November for them), but still, they both are all the way across the sea and Kuroo is here. He loves his dad and his grandparents, they are really great - but Kuroo still misses them. Maybe he shouldn’t, but he does.

The good side, however, is that this is also his first birthday with Kenma.

They had known each other for a little over 8 months and actually hanged out pretty frequently - although in the beginning, neither of them talked much or even at all. Kenma was glad to play in silence, and Kuroo was happy to have a distraction from all the things in his life that were making him quite miserable. Even if that meant getting beaten up in video games every single day. He didn’t really mind tho, video games didn’t quite stir up his inner competitive spirit, and every time Kenma won he had this sort of sparkle in his eyes that Kuroo liked to see.

Kuroo had walked in into Kenma’s room past Sunday to find himself under a very judgmental squint. He was about to open his mouth to ask him what was wrong when Kenma interrupted him.

“Why didn’t you tell me it’s your birthday on Wednesday?” Kenma asked, seemingly upset, and Kuroo looked at him surprised.

“Oh. I didn’t think it mattered.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a Wednesday, I’m not going to have a party or anything. I don’t even have anyone to invite over.” Kenma was then very quiet, looking down to the floor. “Wait, how did you even find out about that?” he asked suspiciously and Kenma shrugged

“Your grandma told my mum. She said you are going to have a small cake, just so you can say you commemorated at least a little” It’s Kuroo’s time to shrug. “You don’t like birthday parties?” Kenma asks and Kuroo shakes his head, eyebrows furrowed.

“It’s not really that” he sighs, before explaining “I just don’t really feel like I have much to commemorate this year, to be honest. Nothing is going well.”

“What would I even do?” Kuroo asks, and Kenma sighs  
“You could invite me” He answers, looking at Kuroo like he is stupid. And maybe Kuroo is. The idea of inviting Kenma to his house hadn’t even crossed his mind. Well, that’s not quite true. Of course, he had considered inviting Kenma initially, he was his only friend here after all (or at least Kuroo liked to think that they were friends), but he had no idea if Kenma would actually want to hang out with him outside of his own room, and Kuroo didn’t even have any video games that they could play. Besides, as far as he knew, Kenma wasn’t a big fan of socializing in general, which he most definitely would have to do at his house, since Kuroo’s parents would probably try to strike some sort of conversation with him to get to know him better. They were always filling Kuroo with questions about Kenma whenever he got back from his house after their hangouts. He was just so afraid that Kenma would tell him no, assumed so, that the idea pretty much died on his head as soon as he thought of it. 

“Oh” Kuroo lets out, his voice low. “I didn’t think you’d want to go,” he admits, shyly, and is once again met with a stare that lets it very clear that Kenma is quickly losing any respect towards Kuroo’s intelligence. 

“Why would you think that?” Kenma asks, and something in his voice makes it very clear to Kuroo that he is bothered by his affirmation. He is proud of being able to identify that, Kenma usually sounds very emotionless when he talks, unless its about video games, and Kuroo savours the knowledge that he is slowly learning to read him better.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d want to hang out with me, outside your bedroom. I don’t really have any games at my place for us to play. And my grandma and grandpa ask a lot of questions, like a lot-lot, and you don’t like talking, so I thought you’d be uncomfortable.” He explains, his face heating up a little. Kenma huffs and roll his eyes,

“It’s your birthday, stupid. It is not about me. I have a PSP that I can take for us to play, and I’m sure your grandparents can’t ask more question than mine do.” Kenma shrugs now, eyes suddenly stuck on the floor. When he talks, his voice comes out faltering a little, a few shades weaker and shyer than before. “I thought we were friends.” 

Kuroo gulps, a wave of guilt spreading through his chest. He does consider Kenma his friend. But he simply wasn’t sure if Kenma felt the same. He always has the same neutral expression when Kuroo comes in and goes away, and besides beating his ass on video games, Kuroo isn’t sure if Kenma enjoys his company exactly. When he tells Kenma such thoughts, the boy huffs again, offended and annoyed. It’s technically a bad thing, but Kuroo is actually delighted in being able to see so many emotions and expressions all at once. 

“If I didn’t think of you as a friend I wouldn’t keep asking you to come around, again and again,” Kenma says, and it is true. He always makes a comment about ‘next time’ whenever Kuroo leaves, and never says no when Kuroo calls asking to come over, which he easily could do. Kuroo feels guilty and happy at the same time.

“Ok” He says, nodding with regained confidence and certainty.

“Ok?” Kenma asks, eyebrows furrowed.

“Ok” Kuroo repeats. “My birthday is on Wednesday, dinner starts at 7, so you can come over at 5, if you want, so we can play before eating. My grandma will probably make Mackrell, but be very stern when she asks you how much you want because she never knows when to stop feeding people and I know you’ll be too embarrassed to leave the food on your plate after.” Kuroo tells him and Kenma stares at him for a few seconds before nodding.

And just like that, the discussion is over. Kenma sits down in front of the TV, and Kuroo takes the lead and seats by himself. Kenma puts the game controller on his hands, silently, and Kuroo accepts. For the next few hours, the only sound in the room is the soundtrack and the sound of characters fighting on the game.

That’s only the start for Kuroo, however. Now that Kenma is coming over, that he knows that Kenma wants to come over, Kuroo finally has a reason to be excited and look forward to his birthday. And he wants to make it the best ever.

That night, when he comes back home, he sits down with his grandpa in the living room and asks him what he personally considered to be a good birthday party. All of Kuroo’s previous birthdays had been organised by his mother, so now that she wasn’t here any more it felt like it was up to him to put up something nice, and Kuroo considered his grandfather to be a very wise man (he always knew the best way to clean the mackerel before eating and the fastest way to cut and peel mangos), so surely his opinion on the subject was trustable. 

His grandpa had stared at the ceiling for a long time, lips pursed and pressed together. Kuroo thought it was funny because that was the same face his father did when they played hide-and-seek when he was younger (they hadn’t played since his mother left tho. Kuroo missed it a little. He missed a lot of things). After a few minutes of pondering, he turned to Kuroo and said

“I think that when I was younger, the best parties I’ve ever been were the ones that gave us little thank you gifts. When the person showed how grateful they were for our friendship.” Kuroo frowned a little. His mother had always told him that his birthdays were his special day, the one day of the year that he could count would be all about him. What is grandpa was saying went completely against that. 

“You know, Tetsu-Kun” His grandfather continued “You don’t want your guests to get bored or upset. You have to be a good host and make them feel welcomed. You’re the one offering the party after all” Kuroo nods, as he absorbs the knowledge. Right then, his grandmother walks in, arms filled with groceries.

“Baba” Kuroo calls and his grandfather gets up to help her with the shopping bags.

“Why didn’t you call me? I thought he was supposed to help you?”  
“He got stuck in work again dear” Kuroo’s grandma explains, making excuses for her son like she had been doing since they moved in (and how she probably would do for the rest of their lives). “You know how things are. Now, Tetsu-Kun, what were you two talking about?” She asked, a kind but tired smile on her face. Kuroo smiled back, already up and moving to the kitchen to help his grandpa with setting the groceries away. 

“My birthday party. I invited Kenma.”  
“Oh! Why didn’t you tell me that before Tetsuro? I haven’t prepared anything!”  
“Grandma, my birthday is only in 3 days”

“3 days is not a lot of time, you know? I have to think of what we’re going to serve, if we have enough space to host everyone comfortably, oh Dear I have to clean the house, I-”  
“Baba!” Kuroo calls her attention “Don’t worry. I got this!” His grandma looks at him surprised and his grandfather lets out a chuckle 

“Yes, dear. He got this. Tetsu-Kun is turning 9 already, he is not a baby any more, you know?” His grandpa asked, teasingly and Kuroo’s grandma slaps his shoulder without putting any force into it.

“It’s only Kenma and maybe his parents, so I don’t think we need to do anything big or a lot of space. We can have curry for dinner because you always say that the good thing about curry is that it can feed an army and I know that they like it because I’ve had it a lot of times in their house. And for dessert, we’re having apple pie!”

“Apple pie?” His grandparents ask surprised in unison “Not cake? His grandma continuous

“Nope!” Kuroo tells them, with a smile on his face. “Apple pie is Kenma’s favourite dessert, his father told me. I want to show I’m happy that we are friends and that he wanted to come, so we’re having apple pie. I mean…” Kuroo backtracks a little, suddenly hesitant “if that’s ok with you. We can buy one, if it’s too much work, I can use my savings! Or I can bake one myself, I promise I’ll learn and clean the whole kitchen after!” He promises, voice eager

“Oh dear,” His grandma interrupts him, a look of extreme fondness in her eyes. “No, Tetsu-Kun, that’s ok. Is very sweet of you to think of all of that.”

“Ah, yes, he is very smart, isn’t he? I believe Tetsu-Kun has a lot of wise people in his life to guide him.” His grandpa adds, with a more solemn nod and Kuroo’s grandma squints at him before turning back to Kuroo.

“We can bake the pie, I have a recipe somewhere, but you’ll have to help out with the cooking and with cleaning the whole house. And if your bedroom is not spotless and organized you and Kenma will have to stay in the living room, ok?”

“Ok!” Kuroo replies excited, before going back to the groceries, his brain rushing, head already filled with ideas. Behind his back, his grandparents look at each other with a fond look on their faces.

Kuroo spends the next few days following his tasks dutifully. His grandmother helps him to organise his room on Monday morning, and he does his best to keep it the same way during the next few days (so maybe he pushed a few toys and shirts on the bottom part of the closet, where he keeps his bed, but no one needs to know that). He goes to the market with his grandpa on Tuesday, and picks the carrots and tomatoes for the curry all by himself, as well as the apples for the pie, and carries most of the groceries alone back into the house. He dusts the living room on Wednesday morning, and helps his grandma mix the pie ingredients and set it on the dough that had been resting since the previous night. And then, all that is left is for him to shower and bounce in one place, filled with anxiety and excitement for the time that Kenma and his parents finally come over. 

“You’re going to open a hole on the floor, Tetsu” His grandpa mocks him and Kuroo smiles at him.

“Sorry Jiji, I’m just really excited!” He tells him, still bouncing. “Do you think Kenma will like the pie? And the toys I have? They are not video-games, but they are still nice...” As he talks, Kuroo can fill himself getting worried about Kenma being bored again. He tried not to think about it, but his brain always managed to find and feed these bad ideas, somehow. And he knew that Kenma had said that he would bring his own video game but still, maybe...

“Tetsurou” His grandpa calls him and Kuroo looks up, snapping back into reality. His grandpa must have seen a look in his face that he didn’t like, the negative thoughts making itself clear in his eyes “I’m sure Kenma-Kun will love the pie, it was very kind of you to change the desert of your own birthday just for your new friend. And I doubt he will be bored. If anything you can always drag him out to the backyard and play some volleyball. That boy needs some sun” His grandpa says, nodding and Kuroo laughs.  
“I don’t know if Kenma would want to play volleyball, he doesn’t seem to be a big fan of moving. But he is super smart!! I bet he would be a great coach. Or a setter! He can always predict what the characters on the games are about to do, and he always comes up with strategies!! I only press the buttons, but he always has a plan for stuff!” Kuroo starts talking, sharing the game adventures he has seen Kenma partake in. His voice is filled with clear admiration, and his grandpa smiles while nodding and listening. 

“It’s a good thing you two found each other then. Kozume-San told me Kenma-Kun doesn’t really have many friends. I’m sure he was happy with the invitation.”

“Yeah, he is really nice. It’s nice to have a friend.” Kuroo admits, shyly. Even though his discovery that he and Kenma were in fact friends was recent, it still made him quite happy to remember that his presence and company was in fact, enjoyable for the younger boy. Kenma was pretty picky and selective, and he never lied about his feelings (even when he really should, like when Mrs Kozume had asked him if he was ok with having broccoli for dinner), so Kuroo knew that when he said ‘we are friends’, he meant it. 

“Well, I am ready to party,” His grandma said, entering the living room. She had just showered, her hair properly made and the air surrounding her presenting a light sweet mist from the perfume. “Tetsu-Kun, have you showered?”

“Yes!”

“And have you brushed your hair?” His grandma asked, squinting.

“Yes!”

“Ok, so why don’t you go try that again?” he asks, and Kuroo’s grandpa laughs. Kuroo pouts. It’s not his fault his hair is so rebellious, he doesn’t really know what to do any more about it. But he really wants everyone to be happy, so he turns around and goes to his bedroom to take care of it. As he is leaving the room he can hear his grandma ask his grandpa:

“Where is he?” she asks, in a rushed and worried tone

“I don’t know. I called him earlier, and he said he was busy with a meeting, but would come straight after work.” His grandpa explains

“Well, I didn’t expect him to go anywhere else. My worry is at what time is he going to leave work!” Kuroo’s grandma retorts and his grandpa sighs.

“I know dear, I know...But you know he’s been...upset. You know work makes him not think so much about it.”  
“Well, is he really going to miss his son’s birthday?”

Kuroo disappears from the hallways and inside his bedroom, closing the door before his grandfather has the chance to say anything else. He doesn’t want to hear whatever the answer is. 

In all honesty, a part of Kuroo didn’t really expect his father to come. He had been very...absent after the divorce. After Kuroo’s mother moved away. But it was ok, it would be ok. He was sure his dad just needed some time. Kuroo was still dealing with as well. Maybe he was busy with work today, but surely he would take Kuroo out on the weekend to make up for it, and he surely would be there for him next year. Surely. Maybe they could even take the care and go to the countryside, to the beach, and spend the day there playing in the sand and eating sandwiches and ice cream. Like old times.

Everything would be fine, his dad just needed a little time. That was all.

But Kuroo didn’t have time to worry about that, it was his birthday after all and Kenma would be there at any minute now. He struggles with his hair, trying to put it down for a few moments, staring at his image in the mirror. He muttered under his breath, wishing he had his sisters smooth and soft hair, that fell in waves around her shoulders. But he had been cursed by the Hair gods or something like that, as the black mess on his hair refused to listen to him. It is only when he hears the doorbell ringing that he finally gives and abandons the task. Kenma was here, and that was way more important than what his hair might look like. 

He takes one last look in the mirror and shrugs before running out of the room. This is as good as it gets, and he is a lost cause anyway.

In the living room, the Kozumes are already thanking his grandparents for the invitation and making small talk. Kenma is holding his mother’s leg, eyes wide, the same as when Kuroo met him.

“Hi,” Kuroo says, suddenly shy and nervous. 

“Tetsu-Kun!” Mrs Kozume smiles at him “Happy birthday!” She says, and Kenma’s father congratulates him as well. “Thank you for inviting us and Kenma-Kun for your birthday party! I’m sure he appreciates, don’t you Kenma?” She says, nudging her son, softly. Kenma nods, quietly. 

“Thank you for the invitation, Kuro. Happy birthday.” He says and finally lets go of his mother’s leg, approaching. Kuroo’s face turns red and he chuckles nervously. It feels odd that Kenma thanks him for the invitation, when it was his idea in the first place, although he was really happy that he had said it.  
“Oh, no, it’s ok! You didn’t have to” Kuroo says, waving his hand. “Thank you very much for coming!” He says, bowing his head towards the Kozume’s, and they all offer him warm smiles. Kuroo felt like the Kozume’s were always warm. If that family was a season, then they would be summer, for sure. Happy, fun, warm. 

“I’m sorry for the lack of gifts,” Mrs Kozume told Kuroo’s grandma, extremely apologetic “We just have been swamped with work, really, but I promise that we will go out on the weekend to get him something!”

“Oh, no,” Kuroo’s grandma said waving her hand “Please don’t mind. Your presence is the best gift Tetsu-Kun could ask for. Now, why don’t we have some tea and the kids play a bit, before dinner?” She offers and the adults start making their usual polite conversation that always bored Kuroo to death. 

“Oh yes, I love tea!” “That is a great idea!” “Have fun kids, we will talk about grown people business now, go play go.” “Don’t make too much of a mess!”

And just like that, he and Kenma were gently banned to Kuroo’s bedroom, away from the living room. Kenma looked around the room, taking in the vision and analysing everything, like Kuroo expected him to. That was just how Kenma worked, watching everything around before making any conclusions, Kuroo was learning.

“Well... This is my bedroom” Kuroo says, nervously. “It’s not a lot, I think the walls are a bit bare, but it's ok, I think” Kenma nods

“I like it,” he says, and Kuroo grins at him

“Well, I don’t really have a lot of stuff, and I did tell you that I don’t have any video games, but I do have a few games here,” He says opening one of the closet doors “If you want. We can also play volleyball if you’re up to it!” Kuroo watches Kenma’s nose scrunch up at the mention of a sports activity and laughs “Yeah, didn’t think so.” He says. Kuroo thinks that if he ever gets Kenma to play with him, it will probably be one of the happiest days of his life. 

“I brought my PSP…” Kenma commented, and Kuroo nodded. 

“Awesome, we can sit on my bed, if you want, and play.”

“Take turns? When I move up levels you can play, and then when you lose it’s my turn again?”

“Hey! I can move up to the next level! Or you can lose!” Kuroo exclaims, only lightly offended. He knows Kenma is way better than him at playing. Kenma only smirks at him.

“Sure, Kuro, sure” he teases.

They both sit down, playing and silently passing the controller to the other when it’s time to take turns. Every now and then, Kenma will ask him a question about his life before Tokyo, how his other birthday parties went, and Kuroo, in turn, will ask Kenma how he likes his own birthday parties.

“This is nice,” Kuroo thinks. The silent companionship, playing the game and just being together. He enjoys it. It’s a good way to spend his birthday, Kuroo decides. 

Before he even notices, hours have passed and it’s already diner time. They join Kuroo’s grandparents and Kenma’s parents in the living room to eat, and the room is filled with light conversation, mostly from the adults, but they will occasionally ask Kenma and Kuroo questions and politely nods as they both answer. When everything is done, Kenma and Kuroo help take the dishes away from the table. As they come back to the living room, Kenma turns to Kuroo and says:

“Now is the best part of every birthday. Cake time.”

“Oh!” Kuroo says, giving him a huge smile “No cake!

“No cake? I thought you liked cake?”

“I mean, I do,” Kuroo says, and as he continues to explain he can feel his face getting warm, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed by his actions “But I know that you prefer apple pie, and I wanted to thank you for coming and for... For being my friend. So I asked my grandma to bake an apple pie.”

“And he helped to mix and bake it and everything.” His grandma adds, settling the hot plate with the desert in the centre of the table.

“You did?” Kenma asks him and Kuroo nods, smiling shyly. “You didn’t have to,” Kenma says and Kuroo shrugs.

“It’s ok, I wanted to.”

“Well, time to eat boys, come on now” His grandpa calls “Tetsu-Kun, as the birthday boy you have to cut it and give the pieces!”

“Oh, ok!” Kuroo says. His grandpa helps him slice and plate the slices, as everyone else sits and settles down around them. The pie is not too big, and Kuroo makes sure to get big slices for everyone. One slice is settled aside, to save for his father when he eventually comes home. A big one to his grandfather, for helping with the groceries for the pie and for advising him on how to make the party happen. Another one for his grandma, for cooking everything and helping him clean his room. Two others for the Kozume’s, for allowing Kenma to come and being very nice guests. And, of course, a big one for Kenma, for being his friend and coming over on a Wednesday even though Kuroo didn’t have any video games and Kenma had to eat all the vegetables in his curry because he was a guest in someone else's house. 

It’s only after serving and watching everyone settle down to eat that Kuroo realizes he forgot to leave a slice for himself. Oh, well, that’s ok, he doesn’t really mind. Everyone around him seems to be quite happy and satisfied, the adults deep into conversation and Kenma gladly munching on his dessert, and that is enough for Kuroo. He will have some chocolate drink and maybe cookies later to make up for it. 

Kuroo takes the dish away to the kitchen and comes back, settling down next to Kenma. The other boy just keeps eating, until he suddenly stops, eyeing Kuroo from head to toe, squinting.

“Where is your dessert?” he asks, suspiciously. 

“Oh, the pie ended. It’s ok tho, I had a lot of curry, I’m fine.”

“So you gave dessert to everyone, but you don’t have any?” Kuroo nods and Kenma sighs

“Kuro, you’re stupid,” he tells him and Kuroo gasps, offended

“Excuse me?”

“It’s your birthday. It’s your birthday pie. You have to have some. Here, share the rest with me.”

“Kenma, you hate sharing food”

“How do you know that?” 

“Your dad always teases you by saying he is going to steal something from your plate” Kuroo explains, thinking about the times he had dinner at the Kozume’s place. Kenma shrugs.

“Well, I wouldn’t have to share, if someone hadn’t forgotten about themselves when slicing the pie. C’mon” Kenma says forcing the fork on Kuroo’s hand. It would be endearing, and kinda cute if it wasn’t for the scowl on his face. Kenma chuckles and steals a tiny piece of the slice. He does it a few more times, although Kenma does eat the largest part of it. Kuroo doesn’t mind, he asked for the dessert thinking of him after all.

Much later, when the Kozumes had already left (Kenma made Kuroo promise that he would come over to play on the weekend), the house had been tidied up and Kuroo was already in bed, he replayed the night and his grandfathers’ words in his head. He thought of the sparkle in Kenma’s eyes when the pie was served, and how he had called Kuroo his friend. How the Kozumes had both fondly messed up his hair and told him that he was always welcome to come over to their home, so they could repay for the festivities. 

So maybe his parents and sister weren’t there, and maybe he only really had one friend in Tokyo. It didn’t matter. Kuroo had been a good host, giving all he could to the guests, and now he felt happy and fulfilled. It had been the best birthday party, and Kuroo wouldn’t change it for the world. 

On November 17th of 2010, Nekoma has a match against another Tokyo big team. Kuroo turns 16 years old, covered in sweat and adrenalin, in the middle of the volleyball court he spent most of his time throughout the past year. 

If he had to make a list, or really think about it, he would probably rate joining the team as one of the best things to have happened to him, ever. Practices were the highlight of his days, and nothing ever beat the feeling of being inside the court, playing a match. It always gave Kuroo such a high, to win things with a team he was so proud of. To see the look of pride in Nekomata’s face, and pay Kenma a slice of apple pie in commemoration afterwards, so he wouldn’t pass out from lack of energy or kill Kuroo due to his high tendency of getting easily annoyed when overexerted.

They weren’t the only people that made him happy tho. Kuroo had been slowly breaking out of his shell since middle school, and by the time he joined Nekoma he had got much better at socializing and establishing relationships with his peers. Long gone were the days when the idea of public speaking made his palms sweat and breath get stuck on his throat. Now, he passed an aura of confidence, if not light cockiness, and had been perfecting the art of riling people up, just for the sakes of it. 

Although Kenma was still his best friend, by far (Kuroo had been ecstatic when they both found out Kenma would be joining him at Nekoma for his high school years), he couldn’t deny that he had made some good friends in his new team. From his age group, he had Kai and Yaku - and although the start had been rough, to say the least, they got along fairly well these days (For example, Yaku had only threatened to kill Kuroo 3 times since that morning, and Kuroo had only made 5 jokes about his height. Great improvement, as you may see.), and Kuroo couldn’t deny that he did get along well enough with all of his senpais. He was hard-working, charismatic and honest, all in all, being able to please and charm everyone into trusting him both inside and outside the court. 

All in all, Kuroo had no reason to believe that his colleagues didn’t like him or anything of sorts. He knew he was quite popular inside the team. It still took him by surprise when his captain announced that he would become captain next year. 

Kuroo had been ecstatic, and only had one minor crisis about not deserving the position (which Kenma had quickly been able to avert it). 

And it was all fun and games for a few weeks. Kuroo was on cloud nine, ridiculously happy just form the knowledge that this was a possibility that was going to happen. That people trusted him enough for that. 

Until he got a call from the captain the previous night, letting him know that he had food poisoning. Which meant Kuroo was subbing for him as captain on their game in the next morning. 

Kuroo wasn’t sure if that was a birthday gift or a burden. A chance to humiliate himself in front of everyone, proving that his worst thoughts were right, and he, in fact, did not deserve the position of captain, or the trust of Nekomata and his teammates. 

He was suddenly almost happy that both of his grandparents had forgotten that he had a match today and so couldn’t come and that his father had once again forgotten his birthday altogether. He didn’t bother telling his mother, and his sister had been too busy to call him, so at least no one that had the obligation to be connected to him by blood would have to witness that. At least they wouldn’t have to see Kuroo fail.

But the rest of the team would. And that would actually be much, much worse. What if they see right through him? How he fakes his confidence and is actually an anxious mess all the time? What if they see that he is not actually that good, that there are so many players out there so much more talented than him? What if they decide that he really is not fit to be captain? What if they kick him out of the team?

What if Kuroo fails miserably, and the team loses because of him, and they end up hating him? What if Kuroo ruins everything, not only for himself but for the rest of them? 

He has a panic attack that night. Is not the first one, he had quite a few during the first years after the divorce, but it was the first one in at least two years and it wrecks him. He crumbles, curling himself into a ball in his room, trying to not make any noise. He can’t let anyone know, his grandparents would be too scared and had no idea how to deal with Kuroo when he was in this state when he was a child, they certainly wouldn’t be able to help out now. He wasn’t sure where his father was. He can’t call Kenma, is too late for that and he wouldn’t want to push all of his issues on him, to be a bother to his friend. A burden. Kuroo was already a burden to enough people in his life.

He drinks a whole bottle of water, at 2 am, sitting down in the kitchen and wondering how in the world he is going to do this. He figures out he doesn’t have much choice but to simply risk it and hope for the best.

When the next morning comes, he has a hearty breakfast, to make up for the lack of sleep, and leaves the house early. His grandparents both give him a ‘happy birthday hug’ and he promises to come back in time for dinner. 

He makes his way to down the street slower than usual, his thoughts going a thousand by the minute, going over everything he had thought the past night. When Kuroo had first learned that he was being considered as next captain, he made a list in his head of all the things he wanted to do if he got the position. During his shower, that morning, he had come to the conclusion that today was probably his chance to test them out before he was actually named captain. If it worked out, great. If it didn’t, well, then he was just proving his own thoughts to be right and he really wasn’t deserving of the position in the first place. 

He picks up Kenma on the corner of their street and receives a tired ‘happy birthday’. Kuroo squints and asks Kenma at what time did he went to bed the previous night and Kenma only scrunched up his nose, telling Kuroo that it was none of his business and that Kuroo himself wasn’t looking that great either.

“It’s my birthday, you can’t be mean to me today.”

“That’s my way of demonstrating love.”

“Aw, Kenma, you love me?” Kuroo asks, putting his hand over his heart and Kenma rolls his eyes

“Never mind, I take that back.”  
“Mean!” Kuroo says and laughs, pushing his shoulder lightly “C’mon, get moving, we have a game to play.”

“Not to win?” Kenma asks, and Kuroo turns to him confused

“What?”

“You always say we have a game to win. Not to play.”

“Oh... Well” Kuroo starts, an anxious chuckle escaping his lips “You know how it is…”

“Do I?”

“Listen, I just don’t want to be down on my birthday. I’m trying to keep the expectations low here.” Kenma looks at him like he is analysing him, looking for something. Kuroo loved watching that look on Kenma’s face, as he searched for his opponents’ weakness, but he hated when that same gaze was thrown in his direction. He always felt like Kenma new too much of him. “Stop looking at me like that,” Kuroo says, pushing Kenma’s face away and walking a little bit faster than usual.

“Kuro, wait!” Kenma grunts, trying to catch up after him. “Asshole”  
“Birthday boys get to be assholes and not called out on it!” Kuroo responded, keeping his pace. Behind him, he can hear Kenma calls him much worse things under his breath. Kuroo laughs, the sun hitting his eyes and the anxiety forgotten for just a few minutes.

Of course, it comes back again, a wave of fear engulfing him the minute he finds himself facing the whole team. They are all waiting for the rest of seniors to arrive, so they can start setting everything up for the match and warm up, but when the group arrives the captain is missing, as Kuroo knew he would be. Their vice-captain approaches and greets everyone good morning.

“Where’s the captain?” Yaku asks, and Kuroo silently curses him. He knows that he should treat it like a band-aid. The sooner he rips out the news, the better it would be. Still, he is not looking forward to it whatsoever.

“Well,” The vice-captain starts. “Captain is sick. He ate some doubtful ramen last night and is currently experiencing the consequences of it.” 

The team expresses their noisy responses, first in frustrated or pitiful groans, and then in worried questions, each time louder. “But how are we going to do this? Are you going to sub him? Do we cancel the match?”. The vice-captain scoffs at him.

“First of all, I have no idea why you would think we should cancel the match. The captain is just another player. Yes, he carries the responsibility to watch out for the team and keep us in check, and know what is going on with us in and outside of court, but he is still just another player, he is not more important than the rest of the team. The match will happen. As for who will sub him, well…” He clasps his hands together, before turning to Kuroo, a smirk on his face that makes Kuroo’s stomach turn into ice. “He has decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to let our runner upper here try his hand on what it is like to be captain for one match.” The vice-captain clasps a hand on Kuroo’s shoulder, and he doesn’t know if it’s meant to feel as threatening as it does, or if is only his own anxiety speaking. Kuroo nods, nervously, before turning to the rest of the team and bowing. 

“Thank you for trusting me. I promise I’ll do my best!” He promises. When he stops talking he is still too nervous to actually look up into his teammate’s eyes. He takes a deep breath in. If he can’t look them in the eyes now, doesn’t have the courage to face them before a game, then he won’t have the guts to look at them if they lose. And that is not the attitude of someone who is worth the title of captain. Kuroo stands up again, shoulders set and back straight, eyes looking forward. Open. Confident. Trustable. “If we win this, I promise to buy snacks for everyone after. My treat!” He promises, a shy smile appearing in the end. His teammates cheer, and even Yaku is clapping. He catches Kenma’s eyes staring at him from under his dark hair, a soft and proud smile on his lips. Kuroo exhales.

They set up the court and start warming up, and before they even notice the other team has arrived and the bleachers are starting to fill up. Kuroo is so busy focused on his own team that he doesn’t even notice. He is just checking in with every one of them, trying to make sure everyone is ok, hydrated, warmed up and stretched, ready to give their best. He is ready to give them his best. 

The bell for the teams to enter the court rings and as Nekoma makes their way into their own side, the crowd cheers. Kuroo’s head feels fuzzy like he has cotton balls inside his ears. This is it.

The team stops in the middle of it, to have their usual pep talk pre-game. Usually, they only discussed strategy and wished each other good luck. The old captain never made a big deal out of it, and Kuroo guessed that no one else minded, it was working so far. But that was the old captains’ way, and he and Kuroo were very different people. He thought once again about all the things he wanted to do, how he wanted to be remembered if he was captain, and how this might be his last chance to do that, just in case they lost the game and everyone lost their respect for him. He tries to erase any sort of fear of rejection or ridiculousness going through his mind and shakes his head a little before calling the team’s attention and speaking. 

“I want... To try something” Kuroo says hesitantly. “Please bear with me.” The team nods, confused and Yaku squints, suspicious. Kuroo sighs and gestures for all of the team to join their hands together in the middle. Kuroo looks up, meets Kenma’s eyes. There is light suspicion, but an unmeasurable amount of trust and support in them. Kuroo looks down again, overwhelmed. He holds his breath for a second, doubting himself, and then lets it go. There is no going back now. He opens his mouth and lets the words that have been flowing through his brain for a few weeks now, finally come out of his mouth: “We are blood…” he begins.

That is the first time he makes the speech that would become one of the defining traits of his time as team captain.

It’s a bit embarrassing, and it certainly confuses a few of his colleagues. His seniors all look completely lost, although a few of them looked quite excited by the whole thing. Kenma is completely red in the face but doesn’t say anything (which is all Kuroo was hoping for - he would much rather the silence then being openly called embarrassing or stupid in front of everyone else). Yaku and Kai both smirked, looking at each other. They knew exactly what has behind the speech, and how it was supposed to motivate them. Yamamoto yells hands raised the air and Fukunaga imitates the gesture, though in complete silence, eyes wide. Kuroo smiles, satisfied enough with the results. 

When Nekoma assumes their positions inside the court, it’s united like one whole system. They stand proud with the knowledge that they have the ability and put in the work enough to win this game, and even if they fall or fail individually - they are part of something bigger. A team that has their back. They are connected, confident and trusting in their captain to be there and guide them through the game to victory.

Kuroo gives his team a win that day. 

When the final set ends, Kuroo thinks he might just fall apart. The match hasn’t even been the most intense one he had ever been, in terms of rank stakes or physical strain, but still left him completely exhausted. He had given his all, every drop of sweat and dedication. 

It had been worth it. When he looked into his teammate’s face, eyes glowing with pride and happiness, everything had been worth it.

They all, vice-captain included, congratulate him afterwards, reunited over a feast of snacks from vending machines on the stairs outside the gym. 

“To our future captain,” The vice-captain says, a soda can raised in the air as to propose a toast. 

“To our future captain!” The rest of the team repeats and Kuroo hides his face on his arm, face red from extortion, happiness and embarrassment.

“And birthday boy,” Kenma adds, quietly.

“What was that?” Yamamoto asks and Kenma repeats. The team turns back to Kuroo, shocked.

“It's your birthday??” they ask and Kuroo shrugs, silently “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Honestly, I was just really worried about the match” He confesses, chuckling, and his teammates boo him, throwing pieces of the snacks on him. 

Kuroo is as happy as it gets. 

Later, on the train going back home, Kenma questions him about the speech. Kuroo shrugs.

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while. Things I wanted to do if I was captain. Today felt like a good opportunity to test them out” he admits. He waits for Kenma to say something else, but the boy just stares at him, with the same huge golden eyes that always knew too much, read him too well. Kuroo sighed, knowing that there was no way he could scape with just that for an answer.

“I’ve been thinking about what being captain means to me, ever since they said I was the number one option for next year. I know I’ve been captain before, but I don’t know, it just feels different from when it was in middle school. We didn’t have dreams or high stakes back then. Now I do. I want us to go to nationals, I want to make Nekomata’s dream of the dumpster battle come true. I want us to win. And I don’t think we can do that without really being a team, and you know, having each other's back. Our motto is literally ‘connect’. I know most people must think is about connecting the ball in between us to the other side of the court, so it doesn’t touch the floor, but I don’t see it as literal. I think is about connecting us, as people, united with one goal. We are all very different people. obviously. I mean, look at me and Yaku or you and Yamamoto” He adds and snorts a little “We have nothing in common. But nothing of that matters when we step inside the court because we all have one goal: to play and to play to win. I want us to be that team, the one that everyone fears because they know that we are all in this together, ready to fight for it. We don’t depend on one single amazing player, we are one unit.” Kuroo explains, before taking a breath and messing up his hair. He stares at his shoes for a few seconds before continuing, delving into the more emotional stuff

“I know you struggled when joining Nekoma. I know I dragged you into volleyball and then dragged you even more into this team that you really don’t like. You told me you wanted to leave, and I asked you not to. I told you that the rest of the team respects and admires you and your talent, which is true!” Kuroo adds hastily before Kenma can say anything else. “But still, I wanted to do something that would tie in with the whole ‘connection’ thing, and also serve as a way to remind you of how important you are to the team. To us. That you’re needed and wanted here.” Kuroo ends his explanation, chewing down on his bottom lip anxiously. Damn, he did not expect to get that deep, nevertheless on the train, but oh well, he couldn’t really take it back now. And it was all true anyway, so he might as well say it out loud. 

Kenma is very silently and watching him with an extremely red face, and is slowly driving Kuroo insane. Finally, he looks down, before whispering.

“You really are stupid, Kuro.” He says and Kuroo laughs, shoving him.

“Fuck off, you can’t say that to me on my birthday! By the way, are you coming over for dinner tonight?”

“I’ve been over for dinner on your birthday for like 7 years now, I think your grandma would kill me if I didn’t,” he says and Kuroo laughs again. “Was it a good one? Your birthday?” Kenma asks, eyes peering him through the curtain of dark hair. Kuroo gives him the softest smile of the day, filled with comfort and satisfaction.

“The best ever.” He replies.

  
  


The day in which Kuroo turns 19 years old, he is all the way across the sea.

He had bought the ticket the week before, on a whim. Well, not a whim, it just had been motivated by an anger outburst, followed by an unusual case of impulsivity and pettiness. The purchase happened after a fight with his dad. Many words were said, and Kuroo had felt the tears welling up on his eyes and locking his throat the whole time. But he refused to let them fall. Instead, he went up to his room, locked the door and texted his sister: “I’m going to see you and mum on my birthday.”

It’s a stupid idea at best. He has never been to their new country, and he hasn’t seen either of them physically in years. It has all the elements to go wrong. But Kuroo doesn’t care, refuses to think about it. The deed has been done, so all he has left is to think of the future and hope for the best. Kuroo is always just hoping for the best. 

His plane arrives on a Sunday morning, at 10 am. Both of the women to whom he is connected by blood, but not memory, pick him up at the airport. It’s awkward, even though Kuroo tries to convince himself it isn’t. His mother pinches his cheeks, the way she did when he was younger. He wasn’t a fan of the act back then, and he definitely doesn’t like it now. His sister is immensely annoyed by the fact that he is now some good 8 centimetres taller than her, even though she is 3 years older. Kuroo shrugs and smiles apologetically.

“What can I say, I grew up.” He says playfully while suppressing the want to point out that she would know his height if she had ever paid attention to his extracurricular activities and all the recorded games he had sent them as he started high school. 

They take him back home and offer him take out food. Kuroo eats out of politeness, and because is a new country so certainly he has to try new foods. Is exciting! He is getting older, in a new country, with his family which he hasn’t seen in years! There are many motives to celebrate! He does his best to erase the tiny voice in his head telling him that his grandma’s food tastes better.

The mattress is uncomfortable but Kuroo is way too tired to overthink that, so he easily falls asleep. He also ignores his phone, that has been buzzing with happy birthday and ‘where are you’ messages from his friends back in Japan since it had hit midnight there. It feels weird to tell other people about what happened and where he is, and if he tells anyone that knows him well enough they will see the regret right through his words. Is better to ignore and apologize later.

His birthday falls on a Monday the next day. Both his sister and mother have to work, but they promise to check in on him in the morning and come home around lunchtime to spend their day with him. 

Neither of them shows up. He gets a text message with a shallow apology - meetings and works and ‘you know how life is!’. It’s fine, we all have priorities, and it has been a long time since he has outgrown the childhood fantasy that he could be considered one.

Kuroo decides to make the best out of it. He refuses to give in into the sadness and holds tight to the philosophy of new place equals new adventures and that's a good thing. His mother had raised him telling him that his birthday was his special day, a day only his. It would be disrespectful of him to simply not enjoy it and try to make it special, instead of moping around the house. So what, he will be alone in a place he doesn’t know? He can figure it out. He can make it fun.

Kuroo spends the day hopping from museum to museum, shying away from the native language and nodding repeatedly when talked to even if he had no idea what the person talking to him was saying. He goes into a few stores but doesn’t find anything interesting. He stops at a bakery, but the dessert is so overly sweet it gives him a headache (he thinks that Kenma would like it tho. Kuroo would like to think that maybe, someday, he could bring Kenma here to try this out. But he knows, even then, that he won’t be coming back.). 

The sun is almost setting, and he is fighting with his Google Maps app on the way back home, when stops suddenly, spotting a pair of double glass doors with a familiar alphabet on the front. 

A Japanese market. 

Kuroo thinks about his mother sighing and telling him how she hasn’t had authentic Japanese food in ages, and his sister agreeing that she can barely remember the taste of home that properly made Japanese food has. The taste of childhood. He smiles to himself and walks in, without thinking twice. He spends almost all the money he had brought on the trip there, buying everything he might need to do a Kaiseki (what's left is spent on souvenirs for Kenma and his grandparents). It won’t be perfect, of course, but he can change and adapt here and there, and with some light substitutions, he supposes it will be alright and good enough to eat.

Kuroo goes back home and stars working on cooking and plating, as good as he can. He felt relieved listening to the store owners speaking, and they were very kind to him when listening to his plan. 

The evening is almost over, only two hours of his birthday left, when his mother and sister finally walk through the door, fast food takes out in hand. They stop at the door and stare surprised at the table. Kuroo opens the biggest smile that he can, and gestures to the table with his arms, showing the surprise.

“Surprise!” He says, smiling. His mother blinks, eyes blurry.

“Tetsu-Kun... What is this?” She asks. His sister has already dropped her bags on the doorway and is cautiously approaching. 

“I was thinking about how both of you mentioned that you hadn’t Japanese authentic food in a while, so I wanted to surprise you. I found a store and the ingredients. Please think of it as a ‘thank you gift’ for letting me come visit and stay for my birthday.” He tells them, before slightly bowing. His mother blinks again, before walking fast in his direction, hugging him tightly, lips pressed to his temple. 

“What have I done to deserve such a good son?” She asks, holding his face in between her hands. Kuroo smiles, softly, his heart soaring. The unpleasant truth is that he thrived when receiving approval, and nothing made him feel better than pleasing and knowing that maybe, just maybe, he had done something to make his mother proud. Even after everything. Maybe especially after everything.

They hear a loud ‘hmm’ and turn to find his sister, cheeks puffed and filled with food. Kuroo laughs and it startles both of them. He covers his mouth, apologizing and his mother shakes his head. Kuroo knows why, he has seen the pictured - when he throws his head back, eyes squinting, he looks just like his father. 

His sister approaches, passing her arms around his torso, and kissing his shoulder where she reaches.

“This is why you’re my favourite brother.”

“I’m your only brother!”

“Details, details…” She waves her hand before sitting at the table. “Now...let's feast!” she says, and both Kuroo and his mother chuckle and nod, joining her at the table.

It’s a wonderful dinner. It’s also the only time that they actually spend time together. Kuroo realizes soon enough that his visit is more of a burden than a blessing, and that they are both extremely busy women with no time (or patience) to entertain a foreigner. Someone they love but don’t really know. They are all bonded by blood, but there’s now much connection beyond genetics. It’s a bitter truth that Kuroo has been refusing to swallow since he was 13 and realized his mother didn’t know his favourite school subject, and he couldn’t quite remember the colour of his sister eyes without looking for a photo. It only makes the acceptance of the fact more painful

When Kuroo comes back home, a week later, no one picks him up from the airport. He sits on the same train seats that he used to get on every day before graduation, waiting for the same metallic voice to call out the name of his home station. Kuroo closes his eyes, relishing on the sound, overwhelmed by nostalgia and the feeling of being back home.

He crashes in his bed, as soon as he gets home, but his father catches him awake the next morning before leaving to work. Kuroo is sitting in the kitchen table drinking his grandmas tea. His hair is messier than ever, and the skin under his eyes is purple and puffy. A human disaster caused by jet lag and disappointment. His father stares at him for a few seconds, before grabbing a bento from the fridge and moving towards the door. He stops it for a second, before looking over his shoulder and asking:

“How was your birthday?” Kuroo looks at him and smirks, head tilting to the side. His father shivers - the mockery in his eyes is the same as his mothers.

“Best birthday ever.” Kuroo replies.

His father nods, and leaves. They both know Kuroo is lying but is a fight neither of them is ready to pick. That night, his father comes back and pushes a small box in Kuroo’s hands. It’s a small sponge cake, something bought out of a convenience store. Kuroo takes a deep breath, the same feeling of the burning tears rising on his chest and stealing away his ability to breath. Maybe his father does love him, even if it’s in a language that he can not understand.

They never talk about the trip again.

The day Kuroo turns 22 is a magical and yet extremely mundane day for several reasons. 

It is magical because it’s his first day on his own place. An apartment that was finally his own, no family, no roommates, just him. The moving truck had arrived at 6:30 am, and Kuroo had arrived 30 minutes earlier to wait for them and just set some basic things up that he could take with him by car. 

It is extremely mundane, because he spends the rest of the day cleaning and organising his house. The place is a fixer-upper, to say the least. There is only so much a college student with an internship and some savings could get. And, of course, as always, his birthday fell on a weekday. Which meant everyone he knew and their mother were busy, working or at their own classes. He had been able to be excused from his own classes, simply because he was, after all, a stellar student. But still, that meant he had to do the whole moving process and its several annoying steps, all on his own. 

He starts with the bathroom, he supposes it's the easier room as it is the smallest and has no actual furniture in it. He carefully dusts the whole thing, and then places the medication and other products for muscle strain and tension in the cabinets behind the mirrors. He fills the small closet with more fluffy towels than he can use. He puts shampoo and soap on a shelf inside the shower. He puts the small glass container filled with small soaps shaped like roses on the corner of the sink, near his toothbrushes. It reminds him of his grandma, he wanted to take a piece of their old place with him into the new house. A small way to make it feel more like home, he supposes. 

The next room is the kitchen. He thinks that’s probably the most necessary one, as he knows that when he eventually gets hungry - he will be very hungry. Once more he dusts and swipes the floor, before starting to put things away. He doesn’t have much, really. It’s his first house, it contains mostly cheap utensils and things he managed to sneak into his moving boxes, going unnoticed by his grandparents. In total, Kuroo has one large frying pan, one medium frying pans, one medium pot, one large pot, one coffee pot, one teapot. He opens one of the draws of the built-in wooden cabinets and places all of his 4 forks, 2 small spoons, 2 large spoons and 4 knives inside it, alongside his one large knife and one soup ladle. On the cabinet above, he places all of his 4 glass cups and 2 ugly mugs, as well as his 6 sets of plates and 2 bowls. After that, on the cabinet besides that one, he finally starts to load the canned goods and other non-perishable food, such as pasta, sauces and herbs and spices. 

And then he cleans the fridge, which shall remain empty, with the exception of a few water bottles, until he finally gathers the courage, patience and time to face the awfully boring task of grocery shopping. 

It doesn’t take him long, but definitely, more than he thought it would take. Especially after he takes a closer inspection on the sink, and has to find himself crouched under it for over 15 minutes, trying to screw the old pipes tighter. The perks of moving out - no one to help you and no money to pay someone else to do it for you.

Kuroo moves on to the living room. More dusting, more swiping, more small and insignificant objects to fill the room and remind him of the place that he so desperately wanted to move out but now found himself oddly missing. 

He cleans his new couch, and calls for an unnamed god the whole time he puts the TV up, praying that he won’t let it drop and break in the process. Is possibly the most expensive thing on the whole place, and it will take him ages to buy a new one if he does, but maybe his prayers were heard because he doesn’t drop it and the signal works, so he supposes he is being blessed. Maybe is a birthday gift from the sky. 

The living room is quite bare besides the couch, the TV and a study desk with chair and computer placed against the wall. Kuroo tells himself it's ok, he is only starting. He will be able to decor and spice it up and make it more like him soon enough. Make it more like home.

To finish up the room, he finally puts up a huge mirror, framed in old wood - something he got from his grandparents’ house. He liked to count it as a goodbye gift, maybe even a birthday gift considering the date! Although, in reality, he had asked for it and his grandpa had shrugged and his grandma had said “I always hated this old thing, is bulky and awful to clean it! Take it away!”. (It’s his birthday, so he allows the lie to himself to slide and make him feel better. A false comfort is still a comfort of some sort.)

Kuroo finishes setting it up and quickly dusts the top and sides of it before stepping away to take a general look on the room. He makes the mistake of looking at his reflection in the mirror, in the low lights coming through the windows, and flinches a little. He doesn’t know what's worse, when he sees himself in passing and thinks he is his father, or when he looks too up close and sees his mother’s eyes.

Kuroo looks down to his phone, running away from the ghosts of living people that mock him in the mirror. He realizes is 5 pm. His parents haven’t called, they probably won’t. It’s ok, he expected it. They’re busy people, and we all have priorities.

And his priority was his bedroom!

Another round of cleaning, followed by the endless task of filling up his wardrobe. Kuroo never noticed how many clothes he had until it was time to move and take all of his belonging away with him. It felt like he had too much and too little stuff at the same time. He had 14 boxes. All of his life fit in 14 boxes.

He focuses on folding and colour coding and neatly making his bed or piling books he needs to read on the bedside table. He doesn’t think about the 14 boxes or about no one asked him to stay.

He is in the middle of putting away old his brand new still packaged bed linens when the doorbell rings. Kuroo snaps his head up so fast he feels his neck protest a little, and he curses, standing up and making his way to the living room. Confusion fills him. He doesn’t really remember ordering food, and everyone was too swamped with work to come help or even remember it was his birthday. Maybe his grandparents decided to come for dinner? No, they wouldn’t go out of their house randomly like this. So who would it be? 

He approaches the door carefully, and looks through the peephole. Golden eyes and a messy bun with blonde tips and overgrown roots stare back at him.

Kenma, of course. Who else could it be.

Kuroo opens the door with a smile and Kenma immediately scoffs, seeing the pleasure in his face.

“If you’re going to be sappy about it, I’m turning around and going home.” He tells him and Kuroo rolls his eyes.

“Stop being a bitch, just come in” Kuroo says, stepping to the side so Kenma can enter. “Welcome to my humble home” he says, as Kenma scans his living room.

“Humble is definitely a word.”

“Hey! Listen, when I have money, and time, then I’ll worry about buying some decoration, ok?” Kenma nods, eyes still swiping the room. It actually starts making Kuroo feels a bit anxious, maybe he should have spent some extra money on decor instead of bedsheets or plates. Kenma turns back to him and looks him in the eyes.

“Kuroo?”

“Hm?”

“It’s perfect.” Kuroo smiles, face warm.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks Kenma” Kuroo tells him, feeling soft. “Well, why don’t we ask some delivery and watch a movie?”

“Is this how you want to spend your birthday?” Kenma asks, snorting but Kuroo looks back at him pensive before nodding.

“Yeah. I think I wouldn’t do it any other way.” Kenma blinks watching him, his own face getting red. He nods before quickly moving to the couch.

“At least order some cake for you.”

“You just want an excuse to eat cake” Kenma shrugs, but doesn’t deny. Kuroo laughs, but pulls up his phone, looking through the food delivery app.

They end up ordering pizza and Kuroo asks for two slices of cake. They put some bad movie in the TV, and watch halfway through before getting so engaged in conversation and making dumb comments that they literally forget all about it, letting it serve as background noise to their friendship, to this small celebration of getting old. 

Kuroo stretches, as Kenma comments on his plans for his channel, and feels something poking him through his back pocket. He slips the hand behind to see what it is, and then looks to Kenma, eyes wide.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” He says, and Kenma raises an eyebrow.

“What?” Kuroo smiles and hands over his closed fist. Kenma scrunches his nose but lays his own hand, palm open flat, waiting for whatever it might be. He feels a small, cold piece of metal lay on his hand.

Kuroo gives him a key.

“It only makes sense, you know? I want you to be able to come over whenever you wanted, which I’m pretty sure you’ll do anyway but still” Kuroo chuckles “It just makes things easier.” Kenma stares at the key before looking up.

“Thank you” He says and Kuroo shrugs.

“It’s no big deal, it’s just what feels right.” he says.

Later, he drags Kenma to his bedroom, the same speech of ‘sleeping in the couch is bad for your back’ has been repeated so many times it doesn’t need to be said out loud. They will fall asleep in the same bed, like they’ve been doing for years now, and most likely wake up entangled in each other, as they have always been. 

He lets Kenma lay down and cover himself, making sure he is comfortable before going to the bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready to sleep.

When Kuroo sees himself in the mirror, as he brushes his teeth, he doesn’t flinch. It’s only him, a year older, looking back at him in the reflection. He washes his mouth, turns of the lights and goes to bed.

The day Kuroo turns 24, the world has their eyes glued on the TV - a match that has been brewing since 2012. It’s history in the making, rivalry at its best. Kuroo remembers the first time he watched Kageyama and Hinata play, on the same side of the court, years ago. There is a thunder in their moves that it is rare to find, his experience tells him. But then again, Kuroo feels that it has always been like this with those two. The moment they walked inside the court, people could never look away. And, as far as he knew, even in opposite sides of the world or playing in rival teams, they could never quite stop looking for each other. When playing together, it was as if no one else was in the room. There was only them, the ball and the game. A million possibilities of plays to see and explore, but all of them involving the other. Some people were like that, connected in ways you couldn’t separate.

Kuroo’s day starts and goes as it would be any other day of the week, the same routine as the day before or after. It’s his birthday, sure, but there are bigger things going on and almost all of his friends are too hyped and focused on the game send him more than a happy birthday text. On top of that, Kuroo himself can already predict the exhaustion that he will feel at the end of the day. He loves his job, of course, and he is sure he will have a fun day all around, but work is still work.

He wakes up like he does most days, way too early in the morning. The sun is just flirting with the idea of coming out, only brushes of light in the night sky. Kenma’s warm body makes it difficult to get out of bed, sleepy but persistent fingers grabbing Kuroo’s pyjama shirt as he tries to untangle their bodies and leave to get the day started. It’s always the hardest part of the morning, to leave Kenma in bed and move on when all he wants is to lay back with him, but Kuroo does it anyway. He repeats his same routine of drinking water, working out, showering, having breakfast and then moving back to the bedroom one last time and place a kiss on Kenma’s forehead. 

“I love you” he whispers, before moving away, and he is almost leaving the bedroom when he hears Kenma sleepy voice calling him. “Hm?” He asks, turning his head to look back. Kenma’s eyes are barely open, but he looks at Kuroo and mumbles

“Happy birthday.” Kuroo smiles at him before going back and placing another kiss on his forehead. Kenma sighs, quickly falling asleep again, and Kuroo is finally ready to go back to routine and move on to work.

The day itself passes by normally. Lots of paperwork, lots of meetings, lots of notes and important phone calls where he was to put his best ‘I am an adult talking about business, do not judge me for my age’ voice, as Kenma likes to call. The only minor difference is that in between these calls he also gets some text messages and video calls from friends, wishing a happy birthday and to see him soon. Kuroo smiles at all of them, feeling a warmth in his heart that they remembered. His co-workers also enthusiastically wish him a good day and wish him good celebrations on the weekend. There was a time that Kuroo tried to hide his birthday, that he wouldn’t have shared with anyone on his work environment, just to avoid the bitter and stingy feeling in his throat that comes with being forgotten. He is still outgrowing and working on the many issues he developed without noticing, but he is making progress, and he supposes that’s what matters.

The morning rushes and is done in the blink of an eye, as most busy mornings do. Kuroo leaves the office and goes to the gym where the so expected Adler x MSBY game is supposed to happen, and quickly falls into another wave of interviews and paper works and organization. He is able to catch Hinata, excitedly talking to him about the project that he and Kenma have been developing for over 6 months now with the JVA. It had been Kuroo’s idea and the first project he was coordinating all on his own, no supervision. It meant a lot to him, to say the least, and he smiled happily when Hinata agreed to it. They promised to text each other later on, and Kuroo moved on to talk and interview other players that he considered to be interesting for the collab. And then, once again, he blinked and the day was 2 hours away from being over. Just another day.

When he checked his phone on the way out of the gymnasium, there were multiple texts in the Nekoma group chat, jokingly calling him lame for taking work so seriously, followed by emojis and selfies of them gathered around a huge bowl of paella and then with the same bowl, completely empty. Fukunaga had sent a joke Kuroo would have to ask Kenma to explain to him later, and Yaku made a few threats about how they better see each other during the weekend before he flew back to Russia. Kuroo laughed and replied asking if Yaku really missed him that much. And then sent a few time and location options for all of them to meet again. God, Kuroo had missed them so much. Sure, they talked and texted every week, and even video called each other every once in a while, but it wasn’t quite the same, and practically impossible to get everyone together in one room. He was a little upset to miss the reunion, but he couldn’t wait to get home and hear all of Kenma’s stories of their day together.

Talking about Kenma, Kuroo couldn’t wait to see his face when he gave him his surprise. He looked up down to the package he had pre-ordered and asked to be delivered to him in the gymnasium - an apple pie from Kenma’s favourite bakery, on the other side of Tokyo. Kenma would be so happy, Kuroo knew it, and he looked forward to seeing the expression of happiness and delight in his eyes when he ate the first bite. 

When he walked in, the house was quiet, except for the faintest sound of typing, coming from Kenma’s gaming room. Kuroo took out his shoes before placing his bag on the holder, and approached the doorway holding the package behind his back.

“Hey there” he said, leaning on the door frame. Kenma looked up and gave him a faint smile.

“Hey, you’re home” 

“I am” He said, not being able to hold back his smile. He loved coming home to Kenma. “How was the day with the boys?”

“Pretty fun, but they missed you. Yaku said he will punch you if you don’t go see him before he goes back.”

“Yaku would have to be able to reach my face for that to happen” Kuroo said and Kenma snorted. “But don’t worry, I will.” Kenma nodded

“How was your birthday?”

“Busy. Lots of work.” Kenma hummed “But I got us something, so we could commemorate” Kenma frowns

“You got take out? I obviously saved you Fukunaga’s paella, it was a joke.” Kenma says and Kuroo chuckles shaking his head.

“Nops, I was going more for the cake part. Well... Not cake, but the sentiment is there” He says, finally revealing the package. Kenma’s eyes go wide with recognition, and quickly stands up and paddles in Kuroo’s direction, laying his hands on the side of the box, face filled with wonder. The glimmer in his eyes makes a shiver go down Kuroo’s spine. 

“Why do you keep getting things for me when it’s your birthday?” Kenma asks later, as they both are huddled over the pie with forks and cups of tea. Kuroo shrugs

“It really was more for me” Kenma gives him a look that lets him know he doesn’t believe him in one bit and Kuroo laughs. “Ok, ok, let me explain.” He says, putting the fork down and smoothing the fabric of his pants. He stares at his lap for a few seconds, thinking of how to start. Kenma silently takes another piece of the pie, waiting. Always waiting for him. For someone allegedly impatient, he had always been good at making exceptions for Kuroo.

“You remember when we were kids-”

“And on your first birthday you did the exact same thing and instead of getting yourself an actual birthday cake, you got pie because of me and then your dumb ass forgot to save yourself a slice?” Kenma teases, and Kuroo laughs. He never let Kuroo live that down.

“Listen…” He starts, trying to hold back the laughter “In my defence, you are well familiar with my families belief of giving back to those that we care about, ok?”

“We didn’t know each other for even a year, back then” Kenma pointed out and Kuroo rolled his eyes. As if Kenma hadn’t been the one to call them ‘friends’ first.

“Yeah, but we were friends, and I wanted to show that.” He reaches over and lets the tip of his fingers play with the tip of Kenma’s fingers, before looking up with a smirk on his lips “Also, I’d like to remind you that you freely decided to share your slice with me. And you hate sharing food.”

“Shut up” Kenma says, trying to hold back a smile. “So what, maybe I also knew you were special even back then.” Kuroo allows himself to savour the moment, to let his heart swell with fondness and gratitude. Even if they had been together for a good while now, it always made him a little dizzy when Kenma openly displayed affection, said out loud that Kuroo meant something to him. It’s the buzzy feeling of being loved back, after a lifetime of chasing it. 

“Anyway, back to my point” Kuroo says, cleaning his throat. “You remember when we were kids and things were...difficult, for me? Financially, I mean. My dad was the only one with a job, and my grandparents were retired and stuff. And, I mean, I know we weren’t poor or starving by any means but... You know. I never had nice stuff or a lot of stuff for that matter. And I never could really just buy things on a whim, not for me and not for anyone I cared about. And it was just the same in high school and then college. I could pay my bills but that was it. I was always scrambling when it came to birthdays or celebrations, or even just being able to do small things for anyone involving money.” Kuroo takes a deep breath, and continues before Kenma can interrupt him “I know what you’re going to say. I know it doesn’t matter to you, or to any of our friends for that matter, but still... I felt bad. I wanted to be able to do this, to give to the people I loved or just be able to buy fancy coffee on bad days every now and then” He says laughing “So I guess that’s why I did this. I knew I wasn’t having a party today, because work and stuff, but I wanted to still get something. Because I can afford it now. And I wanted to get something that I knew you would like, because…” He takes a pause, squeezing Kenma’s hand. “Well, because you mean the most to me, Kenma. You’ve always been there for me, no matter what, and you’re always supporting my dreams and now this project with the JVA and other players, like chibi-chan... It means a lot. I probably don’t thank you enough.” He smiles as Kenma rolls his eyes at him. “I know the world-famous Kodzuken doesn’t really need his silly boyfriend to buy him things, and that you could buy the whole bakery if you wanted but still… I can finally afford to buy an entire fancy and overpriced apple pie, for my boyfriend, just because I want to. So yeah, that’s why I did it.”

Kenma stares at him for a long time, before standing up and moving to Kuroo’s side of the counter, lacing his arms around his neck and kissing him deeply.

“You’re silly” he whispers against Kuroo’s lips and Kuroo laughs again.

“It’s my birthday, you can’t be mean to me.”

“Shut up” he says, before kissing him again.

They eat until satisfaction, before storing the rest of the pie back in the fridge. Kenma looks up and see the clock has already gone over midnight. Kuroo’s birthday was officially over.

“Good birthday?” He asks later, tucked into Kuroo’s side, arm over torso, lips pressed against his neck. Kuroo tilts his head, pressing his lips to Kenma’s forehead.

“Best birthday.” Kuroo whispers back.

It’s November 17th, 2020. 

It’s the year of the pandemic. The year the world stopped and time didn’t feel real, and we all grew old while feeling stuck in a present that no longer exists. Life moved on even when we felt it didn’t. 

Through the past few months, Japan has slowly eased into their old social behaviours, finally being stable enough for small gatherings to become a thing again. Enough for birthday parties to happen. But as Kuroo hops out of the train and quickly makes his way up the street to his apartment with Kenma, the last thing he expects is a party. He doesn’t think he’s had a big birthday party in years, and he hasn’t really bothered in organizing one. He has grown used to seeing his birthday as just another day in the year, apart from a few nice messages here and there. 

With that in mind, to say that he was shocked when he walked in was an understatement. When Kuroo flips the lights of the living room on, just to have confetti is thrown at his face and multiple sounds erupt around him, he practically jumps and almost lets his bag fall on the floor. He blinks, confused, staring at his living room. Bokuto and Akaashi on one corner, Bokuto excitedly holding a blowing horn and Akaashi shaking his head, trying to hold his laugh back, Daichi on the other corner, with Kai. He spots most of Nekoma members, spread through the room, as well as some other college friends. Right in the middle, Kenma smiles at him.

“Surprise” He tells him. “Happy birthday, Kuro.” 

“You guys” Kuroo says, eyes stinging and voice breaking for a second “You didn’t have to” 

“Uwu, you're going to cry, Kuroo-Kun?” Suguru teases him from the other corner of the living room, and Kuroo rolls his eyes. Mika is right by his side, laughing at both of them.

“Shut up” He says, approaching the rest of the guests “Thank you everyone, seriously…” he says

“Enough of that” Kenma says and before he can continue, Lev interrupts him

“Don’t cry, Kuroo-San!!” Lev says “Look, we brought food!” 

“What?” Kuroo asks and turns to the kitchen counter that divides their cooking area from the living room. Lots of different plates occupy the space, mostly being obviously homemade food. He looked back to see Kenma shrugging

“You wouldn’t accept real gifts, so I thought this would work. I wouldn’t recommend anything brought by Bokuto and Akaashi tho.”

“Hey!” The couple protest and Kuroo is laughing too hard to say anything. At some point, music started playing, and then Alisa and Lev and Shibayama are all dancing in the living room, and Daichi is pulling him into a hug, and someone served him wine. He is surrounded by friends, and good food, and so much love it’s almost overwhelming. Throughout almost the whole thing, he can feel the warmth of Kenma’s hand in his. 

The party has been going on for about two hours, when Bokuto pulls him aside, looking around anxiously.

“Hey, are you ok? Kuroo asks, and Bokuto nods, before gesturing with his head that they go outside on the balcony. Kuroo follows him quickly, and soon enough they are alone, with the stars and the cold air of Tokyo nights. Kuroo wraps his coat around himself a bit tighter before lifting his chin towards Bokuto. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to ask you something” Bokuto says and Kuroo nods. He watches as his friend takes a deep breath before letting go. “I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while, and Keiji knows and approves of the whole thing obviously, actually he thinks it’s a great idea even! And you know how he is with these things and-” Kuroo cuts him off.

“Bo, as much as I know and value Akaashi, I actually have no idea what you’re talking about” Kuroo tells him, laughing and Bokuto groans, rubbing his hands over his face. He takes another breath, before looking Kuroo in the eyes.

“You know me and Keiji are travelling to the US next month, because the kid we want to adopt is going to be born, right?” 

“Right. You want me to pet sit or anything like that?” Bokuto shakes his head.

“No, actually... Actually, I was wondering if you’d like to be the godfather. You know, kinda like the kids Karioya”

A Karioya was a type of godparent, or a ‘social parent’. It was an old, and almost forgotten costume of Japan, meaning someone who protects and fosters the life of a child, in addition to the biological parents, by socially establishing a non-legal parent-child relationship with the child. Karioyas were there to help the guiding of the child through any struggles or hardships, as well as help and teach them of morals, ethics and goodwill. To ask someone to take such a role, meant you trust them not only to help with the kid, but that you trusted their heart to help your child to become the best person that they could be.

It’s a very old tradition, one of the many things of Japanese culture Kuroo has always been fond of, although not being quite common any more. Kuroo finds himself nodding, tears lining his eyes.

“Yeah. Yes Bo, I’d love to. Thank you so much for trusting me with that.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! I mean, how could I say no” Kuroo laughs, and he is sure he is crying, but it’s ok, because Bokuto is crying too, and then they are hugging and no one would be able to see the tears anyway. 

“Koutaro-” Akaashi’s voice interrupts them, as he steps outside. Kuroo turns to him, both him and Bokuto with a huge smile on their faces. “Oh. I take that he has told you our proposal, Kuroo-san.”

“Yeah, he did. Thank you so much for trusting me with this Akaashi” Kuroo says, stepping in closer to hug him. Akaashi smiles and hugs him back. 

“Of course” he says, voice low and calm as ever “You are a good person, Kuroo. Our child will be lucky to have someone like you helping us to guide them through life.”

“Oh God” Kuroo says, letting him go, eyes glued to the sky. He takes a deep breath, laughing. “You guys really are making me cry here.”

“Don’t let it get to your head” Akaashi says, and they all laugh, the purest joy and delight filling the open night sky.

“Kuroo, someone wants to talk to you!” Kai calls from inside the house, and steps out, holding his phone. Kuroo looks up to find Yaku staring at him through the screen.

“Happy birthday, dumbass!” He yells and Kuroo laughs, gently getting the phone from Kai’s hand. His friend smiles and goes back inside, followed by a very emotional Bokuto and Akaashi, to give them some privacy. 

“Yakkun, you bastard! When are you coming back to Japan?”

“When this goddamn virus burns down and die, the first thing I will do is get on a plane and come over to kick you in the ass.”

“Ohoho, do I mean that much to you that you’d cross the ocean just to see me?” Kuroo asks, smirking at the camera “I’m honoured, Yakkun” Yaku laughs and curses at him, and Kuroo is laughing too. They talk some more, Yaku promising to come over soon and Kuroo promising to text him more often, all the time calling each other names. Through the corner of his eyes, Kuroo sees Inuoka and Yamamoto try (and fail) to discreetly take out a cake from the fridge and light it up. He chuckles looking back to the screen.

“I think I might have to go soon” He says and Yaku nods, understating.

“Of course, of course, wouldn’t want to keep you. One last thing tho - did you see my latest interview?”

“Damn Yakkun, fame is really rising to your big head, isn’t it? Maybe it will even make you taller!”

“Shut up, dumbass. You’re supposed to support your friend’s career, did you know that?”

“Hey, I watch all of your games!”

“As you should, watching volleyball is literally part of your job. That and being an old man trying to connect with the teens.” He teases and Kuroo grunts before rolling his eyes, completely embarrassed and amused by this conversation. “Seriously tho, take a look later on, ok? The link is on my Instagram page and shit” Yaku says and Kuroo nods, smiling softly.

“Ok, I will, promise.”

“Ok. Now get out here, you have guests to attend.”

“Bye Yakkun”

“Bye loser”

Kuroo hangs up and immediately fishes his own phone out of his pocket, clicking on Instagram and searching Yaku’s name. He clicks the link in his bio, leading to an article on an American magazine. He scrolls through, scanning it just so he has an idea about what Yaku talks about, just to soothe his curiosity until he has time to actually read it - and then there it is, the thing he is looking for. His name, printed in the page. Kuroo scrolls up to read the question.

“Interviewer: Do you have anyone that inspires you? Both as a player or in general.

Morisuke: Well, I have lots of people that inspire me. From my family, to my teammates. 

I think one of my first inspirations was my high school team captain, Ku- uh Tetsurou. Tetsurou Kuroo. Not really because of how he played, tho he was very good - please don’t quote me on that, he will be insufferable if he reads this [laughs] but uh, I think I was always very inspired by the way he saw the game and how he treated us as his team when he was captain. He was very passionate about everything, but it was never about winning. He always just wanted to make sure that we were all having a good time and bonding, you know? It was all about the experience of volleyball, and connecting with others. I had some of my happiest years playing with him because of that. And he was very hard-working too, I think he always pushed all of us to be the best we could be. Which, I mean, he was a 17-year-old, so... [laughs] and he acted like such an old man sometimes…. Man, I miss him. It was an honour to have him as captain, and I definitely think of his stupid speeches like any time I’m nervous before a game [laughs]. He works for the Japanese Volleyball association now, which is probably the best job he could ever have got. I’m sure he will inspire many people with his passion, and show them the magic of volleyball.

As for pro-players…”

The smile on Kuroo’s face when he finishes reading the interview is bright and persistent. His cheeks hurt a little from it. He quickly texts Yaku a heart emoji from his own phone, before going back inside. He can hear all of his friends singing ‘Happy birthday’ out of tune. He thinks he has never been happier.

Hours later, after everyone already left, Kuroo lets his body flops besides Kenma, a satisfied smile on his face.

“Happy?” Kenma asks, digging his fingers through his hair with calm movements, like he has been doing since they were teenagers. It’s a small, but extremely telling, act of affection. Intimacy in a couple of movements. Kuroo closes his eyes, humming in acknowledgement. The world around him disappears, life reduced to the warmth of Kenma’s fingers in his hair. 

“Kuro” Kenma whispers, and Kuroo turns his head to the side, slowly opening his eyes. 

“Hm?” He asks, staring into the pair of golden eyes that have been watching him for his whole life. Kuroo thinks he will never get tired of the feeling of getting drunk in Kenma’s eyes, of letting the gold devour him. The feeling of being seen, and understood. 

“I have something to give you” Kenma says, hesitant, and Kuroo raises an eyebrow.

“I thought I told you I didn’t want a birthday gift, the party was more than enough.”

“It’s more for my sake than anything” Kenma says, looking down and Kuroo squints, slightly confused.

“Ok?” He says and watches as Kenma takes the hand out of his pocket and ever so softly grabs Kuroo by the wrist, placing something on his palm. Kuroo looks down confused, at it.

A ring. 

A silver ring with something inscribed on it.

A wedding ring.

“Kenma, are you-”

“I know this is not the traditional way” He whispers “But I don’t think that me kneeling was something that would make sense to us, I think. You know I’m not for grand gestures. But I just…” He whispers anxiously. “I’ve never been more certain that I want you to spend the rest of your life with me. I want to see you come home to me and I want to wake up by your side every day. I think I’ve always known we were forever but I...I want to be official. I want to put a name on it. If you want, of course.”

“Kenma” Kuro whispers. 

“If you don’t want, then that’s ok…” Kenma starts, and Kuroo interrupts him with a kiss. A long, passionate, filled with unsaid words and feelings that are too heavy and too big to be said out loud.

“Yes” he whispers against Kenma’s lips, eyes closed and foreheads touching.

“Yes?” Kenma whispers back.

“Yes. Yes I’ll marry you. I’d marry you right now, right here if you could. I love you, Kenma. I love you, I love you, I lo-” It’s Kenma’s turn to interrupt him, kissing him again and again and again. 

The 17th turns into the 18th of November. Kuroo doesn’t care. That night, Kenma gives him a ring. More than that, he gives Kuroo the promise of his surname, of a family - the promise of forever. It’s the best gift Kuroo ever got. Kuroo becomes a Kozume, and it's the best birthday he's ever had. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this, I hope you liked it and, as always, feedback is always very welcomed.  
> If you enjoyed reading my long ass rant on Kuroo, I also have a 3 part series character study on him that is probably the best thing I've ever written. You can read that here  
> If you would like to see me yelling about him or yell at/with me, you can find me on both twitter and cc under @ffskuroo


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